I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
