dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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