and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
