I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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