one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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