She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize