Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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