with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How naked do you want me to be?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
