she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
