Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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