Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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