We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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