I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
