So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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