this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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