I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
