I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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