you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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