pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
