it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
