Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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