Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
