Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
