batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would ride that face into the sunset
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize