last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
