Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
