Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
