Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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