lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
