I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
