so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
