I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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