i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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