I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
