I am in a vortex of obligation.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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