I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
