I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
