as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
