We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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