I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
