she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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