we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
