Kiss
Puke
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
