Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
