My sheets look like a crime scene.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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