just tell him i said nine months
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
