Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
