Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I want her autograph on my taint
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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