Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this boner is exhausting
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
