why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
