I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
