is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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