Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
