So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize