I was born with a shot glass in my hand
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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