She is in my trunk
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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