Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
