She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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