I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
