I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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