Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my poor anus
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
