Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
