if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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