seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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